Yesterday I received a note that read something like this:
Today, I'm hurting more than ever. I just can't seem to stop crying, remembering and hurting. I feel so lonely and broken. What do I do?
I wanted to give you the tools I offered her so you also have a guide to help you when life gets hard.
I said something like this:
When you are triggered (as you are today) into crying, remembering, hurting, etc. I encourage you to be gentle with yourself and try some simple tools to calm your nervous system.
For example, you could try:
Child's Pose: Two of my favourite benefits of this pose are that it helps to induce the Relaxation Response and it can be very comforting (as this is the position we took in our mother's womb). Of course, this will only work if the pose feels good for you so please modify it (using props or blankets as needed) so it feels good in your body. Please note, if there is no way at all to make it feel good, go ahead and take any other forward fold for a similar effect.
Slow and deep breaths in and out through the nose: They may feel choppy but just keep breathing. And, continue to remind yourself to breathe this way throughout the day.
Listen to how you are speaking to yourself in your head: This one may sound funny but might also be the most potent tool available to you. We are often hard on ourselves and say things like "you should just get over it" etc. I invite you to begin a new dialogue. Talk to yourself as you would talk to a child whom you adore. What would you say to a child who was feeling the way you are right now? Give yourself some love. You deserve it.
Be gentle with you. You've totally got this, you know...even though (when life gets hard) I know it doesn't feel like it.