Do you feel like you should be over it by now?

simple healing tools Mar 28, 2018

The other day, I interviewed some women in this community as part of an effort to find ways to better serve. 

One question I asked was: How do you fear your close friends and family would react if they knew how hard grief was for you?

They all had a list of answers that really coincided with one another.  

The one response that really stood out was: I think they would think "gosh, it's been a while, why can't you just get over it?" 

This answer was universal. 

From a women who'd lost her husband 7 years ago.

A women who'd lost her sister 3 years ago.

And, woman who'd lost her mother 7 months ago. 

It didn't matter how long it'd been. They all felt the same way. 

And, if I'm being honest with myself, I often feel the same way too. 

So what can you do about it? 

Start by giving yourself a little love: What if whenever the thought, I should be over this by now popped up you said, I'm not over it, and that's okay. Take some of the pressure off. Grief is hard enough as it is. 

Then re-read this email: Allow the universality of it all to really sink into your bones. You are not alone - even though I know it often feels like it. There are other women out there feeling the same way you are. Other women who, just like you, are perfect exactly as they are. Deep sigh...

Be Gentle on yourself. Be kind. Healing is a process. You are doing a beautiful job. 

With Love, 

Nicky xo 

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