A while back, I was talking to a friend about how to let go of the need to control life which is often easier said then done - especially when we are dealing with stress. And perhaps even more so when dealing with the stress of loss.
We want to hang on to our lives as they once were, and at the same time, control what will happen next. This is a stress reaction from our 'reptile brain' - that old-school part of our brain that thinks it is responsible for keeping us safe. Back when we were cavewomen on the constant brink of death for any number of reasons, change often equated to death.
Thankfully, it isn't like that anymore.
But our reptile brain hasn't learned that yet. In our contemporary world, the "fight, flight, or freeze" auto-response leaves us trying to trying to control life.
The problem with this is (as you know) change is the only constant and therefore impossible to control. So as we try to control our life (and fail) we only add more stress. And,...
When you are grieving, sleep is often a big problem.
Today I'm going to share with you the one practice that I do (almost) everyday before bed. Even on days where my posture practice or my meditation practice go out the window, this one sticks because it's SO simple. And, it works.
Right before I go to bed, I take 2 minutes to massage my feet with oil. I usually just use coconut oil (because it's there) but I sometimes add in other essential oils as well.
This simple practice, ends my day with a small pause, a dose of self love, and a deep sense of grounding. It helps bring my energy out of my busy mind, so I can set myself up for a good night's sleep.
I invite you to give it a try. If it feels right, try it for at least 21 days to set it up as a new healthy habit.
Sweet dreams and LOVE,
Because so much of your life (including how you grieve) is determined by your unconscious mind, it is imperative that you get it on board with your healing.
In this gentle and nurturing class, I lovingly use repetitive mantra to support the unconscious mind in relaxing.
When practiced regularly, you will experience a deeper feeling of inner peace across all aspects of your life - because when you relax yourself, you heal yourself.
I'm here to show you how.
You'll find this brand new Yoga for Grief class in the link below.
We made it home after an epic trip that involved a two-year-old meltdown that shut down the airport security line and a bathroom escape that had me abandon our luggage and run through the airport with my pants down; but, we’re here, and it feels good to settle back in to our Santa Barbara home. I took a little time to manage the big transition and I thank you for your patience.
When I was back on Vancouver Island, I filmed several more videos including a full Yoga for Grief Program for DoYogaWithMe.com. More on that later…
But for now, I’d like to share a helpful tip from the Yoga for Grief program.
Grief healing is a tricky beast and there is no real ‘cure’ other than moving through it and integrating as you go, but there are things you can do to help. Which brings me to...
The 4 A’s of Grief Healing:
1. Awareness: This means bringing in an awareness of your grief. It means noticing where and how it is affecting you - and doing so with a...
Chances are, if you’re grieving, you’ve heard the saying “you’ve got to feel it to heal it.” The problem is, feeling it can be terrifying.
Last night in my free Facebook group Healing Grief Holistically, I led a meditation class called Relax your Emotional Body that addressed this head on.
We focussed on becoming aware of and allowing our uncomfortable emotions so we could invite in healing.
And, even though I prefaced the meditation by saying it would be a loving and safe experience, participants were still scared. They said things like, “I’m afraid to allow my emotions. I’m afraid if I do, they’ll consume me or cannibalize me.”
I get it. I’ve been there and allowing your emotions can definitely feel scary. Which is why this is even more important.
One of my favorite quotes comes from Carl Jung. It says, “what we resist persists.” In this context, it means that when we resist...
Hi from Canada - eh! ;)
About a month ago we made a semi-spontaneous decision to spend the summer in my hometown on Vancouver Island. I've been homesick pretty much the entire time we've lived in Santa Barbara and a series of things came together to make it possible, so we just decided to go for it.
I'm beyond happy to be here and settle in for while.
That said, all the change has left me feeling a little overwhelmed and being 'home' has stirred some grief up to the surface.
Cue the grounding exercises.
When I notice myself feeling anxious, overwhelmed or unsettled, my go-to practice is grounding. With this, I’m always amazed at how simple it can be to bring myself back to center.
A few simple things to ground your energy:
The other day, I interviewed some women in this community as part of an effort to find ways to better serve.
One question I asked was: How do you fear your close friends and family would react if they knew how hard grief was for you?
They all had a list of answers that really coincided with one another.
The one response that really stood out was: I think they would think "gosh, it's been a while, why can't you just get over it?"
This answer was universal.
From a women who'd lost her husband 7 years ago.
A women who'd lost her sister 3 years ago.
And, woman who'd lost her mother 7 months ago.
It didn't matter how long it'd been. They all felt the same way.
And, if I'm being honest with myself, I often feel the same way too.
So what can you do about it?
Start by giving yourself a little love: What if whenever the thought, I should be over this by now popped up you said, I'm not over it, and that's okay. Take some of the...
If you're grieving, any kind of grief, I can almost guarantee that you've suffered from shoulda-coulda-woulda at some point along your journey.
I'll let you fill in the blanks:
The problem with this, is that it brings you out of the present moment. It brings you into the past and into the future where you are trying to re-write what actually happened. And, while doing that, it often puts your nervous system into a state of fight, flight or freeze - increasing your stress levels and decreasing your body's natural ability to heal.
Disclaimer: If you find yourself in shoulda-coulda-woulda, please know there is nothing wrong with you. This is a perfectly natural part of grieving. I've been there myself many, many times. So please be kind to yourself. Tell yourself that it's okay that...
Since having my baby, I've been living with Postpartum Anxiety which I believe has been exacerbated by my past experience with loss.
It's bad enough that find myself dreaming up all the ways that my baby might die. It's even worse that I have the past experience (and client experience) to tell me that it's actually a real possibility.
It has been perhaps the most challenging time of my life - and that's saying a lot! ;)
On the bright side -as my husband always says, I have the tools to manage my symptoms when they come up and the wisdom to know that just because I have anxiety doesn't mean I can't also have inner peace as it is the dark and the light that make the whole.
Here is one of my favourite tools for managing anxiety:
Receive tips, tools and inspiration to find inner peace - even when you're grieving.