You're in the right place.
I've been there.
Not in the exact place you are because we all have different stories, but I was in a place where I'd lost my boyfriend and my mom in a 13 month period.
I didn't think I'd ever feel normal (let along joyful) again.
I felt desperately alone.
Like no one really got it.
And unable to grieve authentically in a society that doesn't do grief very well.
I avoided talking about it because my well-meaning friends always had unsolicited advice or a therapist suggestion. The obligatory "I'm sorry" left me - and still leaves me - feeling awkward.
And to make matters worse, I never really resonated with the grief support that was available.
I wanted wisdom. And truth. And something good to come out of all my suffering.
This is why I do what I do...
Holistic Support and Like-Hearted Community for Women are Grieving
I offer holistic tools to help you ride waves of grief: These are simple tools you can use (in public without looking silly) that will get you through with more ease, so that when you’re at the farmer’s market with your hands full of bags and that song begins to play, you can navigate it with a sense of grace and empowerment.
I offer holistic practices that are deeply healing: The focus is on healing all layers of your being (physical, energetic, emotional, intellectual and spiritual) so that it’s not a band-aid solution. When these simple practices are incorporated into your routine, healing is deep and lasting. This allows your ‘new normal’ to be a peaceful and purposeful place.
I offer accountability and support: So you can easily implement these simple healing practices into your life without it feeling hard or like something else you have to do. Grief is hard enough already.
I offer like-hearted community: This is to anchor you in a sense of true belonging. Here, you are safe to grieve authentically. All of your feelings are okay and you are perfect exactly as you are - grief and all.
I offer the space for you to step into your truest self: As you begin feeling better, you’ll find you may want to lead a more purposeful life. You may have the deep urge to ‘make a difference’ because you now know (more than anyone) just how precious your time here is.
"I feel like I am physically lighter because my soul is lighter. I feel like my old self, but also a much deeper, cooler, more loving self too."
"I felt welcomed and like I belonged. It’s interesting — I have a hard time even sharing my feelings to my family about our loss, but it is so easy to do within your group."
"It has been hard for me to witness the intense emotions that come with my loss (I often want to avoid them) and your guidance was incredibly helpful in bringing me back home to my heart so that I can heal. "
"Nicky is one of the most sincere and kind and lovely people I've ever had the privilege to work with. And somehow I felt like she was creating the safest place for me to rediscover life. For me to breathe again. For all of us to love every part of ourselves, the good, the scary, the tragic. At the end of the day, it's empowering ourselves to find peace, healing, gratitude and even joy when you didn't believe it to be possible. "
" I was worried that I wouldn't make any connections or feel supported from a program online or over distance. Boy, was I wrong! Not only was Nicky the MOST loving and supportive gal around, but I ended up meeting my now best friend."
"I feel like a weight has lifted off my shoulders. Thank you, Nicky. Being a part of this group has helped me to see my inherent value and love myself. "
Grief is my specialty. I didn't choose it that way (obviously) but I'm grateful (finally) that it chose me...
When I was 24 I was living the life of most 'twenty-somethings'.
I worked as a server while attending the University of Victoria and saved any extra to finance my ever-increasing travel bug.
I was fun-loving, adventurous, and also slightly self sabotaging in my 'party girl' ways.
Sometimes when I look back at that girl, I wish I could tell her how lucky she was, to enjoy it while it lasts, or warn her what was about to come.
Sometimes she feels like a totally different person. But, I know that she's a part of me.
That was the year that everything changed...
On Christmas Eve, my thirty-one year old boyfriend was diagnosed with Liver Cancer.
That January, I dropped out of school to become his primary caregiver (along with his beautiful mother).
After six months of doctors, hospitals, surgeries, and alternative therapies, he lost his battle...
I felt like I lost mine.
That was the same year that my mom (who, growing up, was the textbook definition of 'soccer-mom') was thrown into a Costa Rican jail for overstaying her visa and having an expired passport. The reason why?
My super-mom had become so severely addicted to alcohol and crack-cocaine that things like visas and passports didn't matter to her.
That year, I traveled to Costa Rica two times desperately attempting to do something that I could not do. She was later deported.
A few months after she returned home, she drowned. It was most likely a suicide.
My grief was overwhelming.
I felt like I was sinking and I knew in my heart that if I was going to get through this, I had to swim. Hard.
So, having done late-night research on every type of alternative therapy imaginable in hopes of saving my boyfriend's life, I started using what I learned to save my own.
I found that I resonated most with those therapies that had a basis in 'whole-person wellness' and those therapists who seemed down-to-earth. Basically, I fell in love with Eastern therapies taught in a way that I could understand - given my Western world-view.
I returned to the University of Victoria and finished my Bachelor's of Education. I taught for a year at the BC International School in Cairo, Egypt. It was there (way out of my usual routine) that I finally had to courage to act upon my secret dream to become a teacher-healer.
I wanted to teach what was in my heart.
I enrolled in my first Therapeutic Yoga Teacher Training as soon as I returned home.
That was over a decade ago and since then I've taken several more advanced trainings including: a certificate in Yoga Therapy from Pacific Rim College, Yoga Psychology from Ashley Turner and a three month stint at Shri Kali Ashram in India.
Witnessing my clients find deep relief is one of my greatest joys.
I truly believe that if I can do it, so can you.
Let me show you how...
As an internationally acclaimed Yoga teacher, writer, grief activist and motherless-widow, it’s Nicky’s life’s mission to create world where authentic grieving is okay. Where you feel supported and like you truly belong.
Nicky helps women who have lost a loved one find inner peace - even though they're grieving.
She's been featured in MindBodyGreen, Tiny Buddha, DoYogaWithMe.com, SheRecovers, The Victoria Yoga Conference, CKNW Radio and Shaw TV.
Nicky is the creator of The Lotus Collective and has helped thousands of women worldwide to heal grief in the most holistic and self-loving way possible.